Marriage Quotes and Sayings
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Do not put such unlimited power into the hands of husbands. Remember all men would be tyrants if they could. Abigail Adams
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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. Joey Adams
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If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable. George Ade
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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. Woody Allen
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In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. Robert Anderson
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Quarrels often arise in marriages when the bridal gifts are excessive. Antisthenes
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But, alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband? Mary Astell
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I married beneath me, all women do. Nancy Astor
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In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. Enid Bagnold
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No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. Honore de Balzac
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One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul. Honore de Balzac
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The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. Honore de Balzac
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Married couples who work together to build and maintain a business assume broad responsibilities. Not only is their work important to our local and national economies, but their success is central to the well-being of their families. Melissa Bean
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Why in almost all societies have married women specialized in bearing and rearing children and in certain agricultural activities, whereas married men have done most of the fighting and market work? Gary Becker
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Well married a person has wings, poorly married shackles. Henry Ward Beecher
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The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. Brendan Behan
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I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom. Michael Bergin
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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. Ambrose Bierce
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce
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Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. Josh Billings
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Protecting the institution of marriage safeguards, I believe, the American family. John Boehner
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For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward. Erma Bombeck
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A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. James H. Boren
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One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague. Robert Burton
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I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up. Barbara Bush
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Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person. Sophia Bush
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I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. Lord Byron
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A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. Eddie Cantor
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I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance. Frank Carson
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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much. Colin Chapman
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There's nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife. Steven Curtis Chapman
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There is a time for all things - except marriage, my dear. Thomas Chatterton
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Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. Gilbert K. Chesterton
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Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. Charles Caleb Colton
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Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. Billy Connolly
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The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife. Cyril Connolly
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Marriage is an exercise in torture. Frances Conroy
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Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home. There's always something. Will Cuppy
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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. Rodney Dangerfield
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I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year. Bette Davis
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It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. Benjamin Disraeli
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No man is regular in his attendance at the House of Commons until he is married. Benjamin Disraeli
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Don't marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can't live without. James C. Dobson
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Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. Isadora Duncan
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The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married. Finley Peter Dunne
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It's not beauty but fine qualities, my girl, that keep a husband. Euripides
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Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already. Linda Fiorentino
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It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Robert Frost
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A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Getting divorced just because you don't love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. Zsa Zsa Gabor
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When a marriage works, nothing on earth can take its place. Helen Gahagan
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The comfortable estate of widowhood is the only hope that keeps up a wife's spirits. John Gay
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Faithful women are all alike, they think only of their fidelity, never of their husbands. Jean Giraudoux
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On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. Emma Goldman
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I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out. Lee Grant
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Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued. Robert Graves
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Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard
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An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren't. Sacha Guitry
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
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A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. Grace Hansen
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Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. Sydney J. Harris
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Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things that made life to me glorious - friendship and learning. Jane Harrison
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The Wedding March always reminds me of the music played when soldiers go into battle. Heinrich Heine
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If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. Katharine Hepburn
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Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn
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The concept of two people living together for 25 years without a serious dispute suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. A. P. Herbert
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The critical period of matrimony is breakfast-time. A. P. Herbert
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Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause, does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age. Hesiod
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There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. Homer
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Never get married in the morning - you never know who you might meet that night. Paul Hornung
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Never tell a secret to a bride or a groom; wait until they have been married longer. Edgar Watson Howe
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Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake. Elbert Hubbard
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All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. Raymond Hull
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Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. St. Jerome
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Marriage is a mistake every man should make. George Jessel
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The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. George Jessel
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I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it. Lyndon B. Johnson
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Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman. Joseph Joubert
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Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream, and not, as it too often is, the end. Alphonse Karr
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I've had an exciting time; I married for love and got a little money along with it. Rose Kennedy
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Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. Jean Kerr
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Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love. Ellen Key
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If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. Alan King
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Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. Alan King
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Marriage is an institution fits in perfect harmony with the laws of nature; whereas systems of slavery and segregation were designed to brutally oppress people and thereby violated the laws of nature. Jack Kingston
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More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. Doug Larson
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Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. Stephen Leacock
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Married people from my generation are like an endangered species! Patrice Leconte
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Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. Abraham Lincoln
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Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. Martin Luther
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Daddy was real gentle with kids. That's why I expected so much out of marriage, figuring that all men should be steady and pleasant. Loretta Lynn
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By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We're like other couples. We do not get along perfectly; we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us. Barbara Mandrell
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx
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Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
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Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. Groucho Marx
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A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. W. Somerset Maugham
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A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin
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If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. Mignon McLaughlin
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. H. L. Mencken
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Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. H. L. Mencken
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Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. H. L. Mencken
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Love is often the fruit of marriage. Moliere
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Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. Marilyn Monroe
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A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. Michel de Montaigne
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If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. Michel de Montaigne
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Marriage, a market which has nothing free but the entrance. Michel de Montaigne
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Marriage should be a duet - when one sings, the other claps. Joe Murray
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. Ogden Nash
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Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. Beverley Nichols
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. P. J. O'Rourke
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Marriage is a gamble, let's be honest. Yoko Ono
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When you have a baby, love is automatic, when you get married, love is earned. Marie Osmond
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip
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They dream in courtship, but in wedlock wake. Alexander Pope
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When I get married, it'll be no secret. Elvis Presley
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I've had two proposals since I've been a widow. I am a wonderful catch, you know. I have a lot of money. Ruth Rendell
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Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. Jean Rostand
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Plant and your spouse plants with you; weed and you weed alone. Jean Jacques Rousseau
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted. Helen Rowland
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In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. Helen Rowland
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It isn't tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it's separating himself from all the others. Helen Rowland
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I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner
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My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. Rita Rudner
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It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss; volatile spirits prefer unhappiness. George Santayana
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All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. Red Skelton
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Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. Sydney Smith
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. Socrates
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Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage". Herbert Spencer
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A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. John Steinbeck
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Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? Barbra Streisand
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A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. Paul Sweeney
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He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home, and broods a nest of sorrows. Jeremy Taylor
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One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. Judith Viorst
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The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly. Peter De Vries
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The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. Peter De Vries
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He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. Mae West
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Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. Mae West
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Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder. Thornton Wilder
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I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs, and don't spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out. Reese Witherspoon
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means. Henny Youngman
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She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face. Henny Youngman
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. Henny Youngman
