Milton Berle Quotes, Sayings, Remarks, Thoughts and Speeches
Milton Berle Quotes and Sayings
- 1
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 2
Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 3
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 4
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 5
I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 6
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 7
I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 8
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 9
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 10
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 11
Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 12
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 13
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
- 14
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Milton Berle | Refcard PDF ↑
