Elayne Boosler Quotes, Sayings, Remarks, Thoughts and Speeches
Elayne Boosler Quotes and Sayings
- 1
Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?
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- 2
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
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- 3
I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.
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- 4
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
Elayne Boosler | Refcard PDF ↑
- 5
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.
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- 6
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler | Refcard PDF ↑
- 7
To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.
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- 8
When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elayne Boosler | Refcard PDF ↑
- 9
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.
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- 10
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?
Elayne Boosler | Refcard PDF ↑
- 11
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.
Elayne Boosler | Refcard PDF ↑
